Galaxy Child

There is bitterness in the sky
she says, "because I put it there
Because that's where it belongs"

The stars were jealous
Because she didn't have to move
But they did

She threw a kiss to the wind
And laughed, "because I hate it
How it always runs away from me"

The planets drew in close
Because she whispered real quiet
Like dust falls

There is a stillness in the clouds
She says, "because I'm sick of this
Because that's about all I can take"

Evenings with the Muckrakers

Blue my silhouette
The brain forgets
What it don't want to see
Ashen faces drawn
Devils spawn
Right in front of me

Fell a sonic boom
Crushed the room
That stood on irony
Opened up their skulls
They were full
Of plastic jewelry

Even as it shines
I can't understand this make-believe

Ancient crosses broke
Drank the smoke
Of silent ecstasy
Splinters pierced the skin
Cobweb thin
A spider's tragedy

Bells rang on the shore
Like the door
Lacked the levity
To dismiss the cries
Sea gull skies
Bled a rookery

Even as it whines
The echoes lie in media sieves

Betraying Nostalgia

Far braver than the dark gave you credit for
You whispered to the sky
But only white drops came out
Diamonds behind your eyes

Past hollows that you swore would never close
Shut their doors upon you
Crossed the paths with tattered rope
Breakers for the morning dew

Far emptier than the tornadoes would ever allow
You grabbed the handle bars
But the tires deflated on the spot
Metal rusted onto the tar

Lemon grass stuck to the corners of their mouths
You took in the wet scent
Choked when the air turned pale blue
Returned the letters I sent

Stamped to the Past

Dear Karenin, we push away when we least want to. Someday I will realize all that I have lost by this society. Only now did I realize you were one. And I will never see you again. Dear purist of canine form, I will search in vain for the rest of my life for a replacement. Like Asanti, Saski, Oliver, Tevril, and Samson...and of course Mine Summer Bird.

Dear Faux Corvid King, I still cannot believe it to this day. There are so many things I will never forgive you for but most notably the time you cut off my wings.

Dear Senator, you were right. All one could really need is a garden and a library. But there just aren't enough to go around. And too much of everything else.

Dear Order of the Antler Founder, there were so many bones. They're all sorted and arranged now but we're still scraping off the flesh. One day the bolts will have nothing left to hold down.

Dear Rook, keep laughing. The joke's on you. You collected my paper cranes as I gave them to you but I burned them before we reached 1000. I've kept the scraps but I'll never look at them again. And you, you'll keep floating through conversations until the world stops talking and you realize there's nothing left for you to hold on to.

Dear White Rat, I will find you someday, and I will kill you.

Dear Okay, music was brought to life by your hands, wind by your feet. Half a world away I can still hear them moving through the trees.

Dear Negro, Canelo, and Morro, patience is key. Rewards aren't always as tangible as desires. We brushed noses, learning through scent, and you decided I smelled trustworthy. I'm pretty sure I just smelled like rain forest mud and sweat. The ants were biting my feet but I was frozen by your strength. For the first time in your lives you didn't shy away. I was the first pale one to respect you.

Dear Ledges, you gave me a golden feather. I gave you empty monologues and broken songs. Neither one of us really knew what happened but one day I dropped over your side and never came back.

Dear Blackbird, you have my letters. I will never stop writing.

Blackbird Memory Letters 4

Dear Blackbird, we run in circles, each growing smaller as around and around we go and even when we reach that center we just keep spinning. We can't see straight. It grows increasingly impossible to put one foot in front of the other. I've tried to jump off this carousel but the stirrups tie up my feet every time. My only hope is for the girth to break. But it never does.
If I were a broken record I'd be all blackbirds and dusty books and dead roses scattered across the floor. Autumn leaves and tall evergreens and a slice of mirror blue sky. But I'm not. I'd be lucky to have a needle in me no matter what came out. Instead it just goes in and bubbles in the veins behind my ears. It never comes out. I heard the blue jays laughing at you once. You chased after their hope but they were always too quick for you. They nearly fell over their sides shook so much laughing at your misfortune. I wanted to grab one and tear its feathers off for you. The crows were worse. Black nightmares. Pulling me up into the sky by the heart strings, sinew ripping out of my chest. The music rang clear. The sun embraced my face. They promised me secrets. And so I let them take me every time. But just when the pull was bearable they would unwind my heart. Way up in the clouds. Until they'd pulled out the end of the string. When I hit the ground...I had to come back for you. Give you a piece of my own each time to get you going. They would cackle somewhere off in the distance. Dark spies planning their next attack. Eventually I didn't have any heart left to give. All the blood pooled in the liver and I couldn't give it up. It gave me up. I felt my soul snap. I lay down on the sun-baked bench and tried to disappear. Nine lives I hadn't used up. Nine lives you took for me. Nine lives that pooled together when the snow melted and my sculptures fell apart. Masterpieces of imagination flickering out when I woke up from the dream. It was beautiful. And I let it be destroyed. The earth grows warm and everything goes cold. I remember the yellow flowers lain above me. The smell of the awakening soil. I scanned the horizon but there was nothing there because I couldn't see anymore.
There were spiders in the garden. Big yellow ones with black women dancing across their backs, profiles smiling up at me, big hoop earrings dangling from their ears. They slept on zippers and fed on canvased shells. Bites were hard to come by. It was as if you could go through every web and turn over every rock and never find your poison. The teeth were in my intestines, chewing up my gut. One day they will eat their way out and the whole world will see how empty I am inside.
I remember my lady hawk. She would dance in the sunrise. Copper and ivory. Throwing blades of light up into the sky. Trying to pierce the cruel god that brought her there. I remember they used to try to bring me to a building and sit me down behind cold stones walls and preach to me about the glory of life. I kept trying to tell them life was outside. It was under my feet. They didn't get it. They shut the doors and shoved the shoes back on my feet and told me to sit still. I would wait for you knowing when you got back you'd lock yourself away and be silent the rest of the day. You shut the world out like they wanted. You shut me out like they wanted. But I knew I'd still see those feathers in the morning, and somehow you'd remember the black coat and burning eyes at night. The velvet fell apart in the bathroom sink. I starred at it until the sun came up and a hand pulled me away. They said when they found me my skin was blue. I thought I was still looking at the sink but they said it was gone. I couldn't hear them. No matter how many times they said it, I couldn't hear them. The sky flashed but by the time the thunder rolled in you'd already lost your voice from screaming. The color stained the carpet. A burn that melted under the bone. You turned away. North was always the answer. Until you got there. Their voices made me cough. I couldn't breathe until they stopped. But then they never stopped. Convulsions in time to their rhythm. You spat up blood and they used it to paint their faces. Porcelain masks hennaed to a devil's tune.
All black bodied birds. Ashes, ashes in the summer time. I'd spin you around if I ever got the chance. We'd make rings in the grass. Stir up a wild fire. And all fall down.

Inner Demon (In Memory of Layne Staley)

It was a dark
Like a slap
I saw the blood beneath his eyes
It was a surge
Like a blank
The suddenness of demise
Saw the curve
Like a star
The glint of quiet blade
Saw the line
Like a mark
Driven by the spade
It was a snap
Like a bone
The voice that reached the ear
It was a breath
Like a pine
That swelled when he grew near
Saw the smack
Like the lips
Of poison kissed the sky
Saw the loss
Like the music
Was leaking out his eyes

Blackbird Memories Letters 3

Like Moose and Montana you never believed it existed because you'd never seen a living sign of it. Like aliens? I don't believe in aliens. We're all aliens. All of them are to me at least. Strange beings I don't understand. Illegal aliens. Like plates in the sky have more right to walk this land than earth colored feet. Put it in black and white and flatten it out. Then even a speck of color or form is alien. Terrifyingly foreign.
They called it Fringe Science. Everything I'd ever believed in...it could be proven in some regard, every cause and reaction ever dreamed about suddenly had potential. I fell asleep trying to ignore it. But I was there and I remember. I held you tight and never wanted to let go. Somehow you were back. I had brought you back. And I was terrified you'd disappear again. I did disappear again. You opened your eyes and the trees faded away. Your face was dry. Your arms empty. I went to scream. But nothing came out. It had all melted away somewhere deep inside you. Somewhere you couldn't get to. I kept looking. Kept digging. But I was afraid. I'm still afraid. Of the truth. You meant well. But he didn't want to help. You had to find alternatives. There was an option. Connecting through the dream state. They said it wouldn't work if it had been so long...but it did.
My feet are saying don't walk today. The hills are covered in blood. They expect you to pull the blankets over your head. Look away from the window. Open the door for the salesman and not complain when he doesn't wipe his feet before entering the kitchen. Ignore the crimson path he leaves behind. What are you selling today, sir? Souls. In between his crooked yellow teeth lives the hiss of life. I'm sorry I didn't realize who you were. Maybe we can make a deal. When you lack compassion deals are tough to come by. His eyes mocked you. I shudder underneath my bones but the earthquake hits outside. Go play your music somewhere else I say. We shall not dance to this tune today. Away, away evil friend. You had your chance at me. I've stopped begging. When the footsteps fade the lights go out. The field dries up. Everything red dust. I got myself a red fiddle but all I play is blue. Forget-me-nots sprout up around the bones, all twisted around them, holding them down. Black firelies. My lights could never be so bright.